Friday, January 9, 2009


First off, let me make my feelings for Oprah perfectly clear. I love her. She inspires me. She impresses me. She comforts me. She--and all her peeps--enrich my life. So it is with a shaky hand that I type this blog, fearful of what happens to one when they dare to question the one-woman wonder. But someone has got to do it.

What is going on with our girl? She's gained pounds and lost marbles. I mean, I appreciate the honesty (okay maybe a little too much discussion of her thyroid but...) and the relatability. I truly empathize with her food issues. I've been there, done that and been back there. But her one hour talk-a-thon on the first show of the new year made it seem like her current weight gain is a completely new experience for her. Listening to Oprah talk about eating being an emotional drug-of-choice and hunger actually being a craving for love, I felt puzzled. Why was Lady O speaking as if this was an "aha" moment that we haven't collectively had before?

Then the week continued on The Oprah Show with a parade of regulars including Bob Greene (exercise and nutrition guru) and Dr. Oz (health guru) who truly seem like old friends by now. But, apparently, we needed to be reintroduced (and I thought we had something real--especially me and Oz but I digress...). At one point during Dr. Oz's "let's get reacquainted" hour, Oprah even asked the audience at home to get a pencil because there was going to be such invaluable information. I waited and waited. Oprah then enthusiastically proclaimed that this is the year to get healthy. Huh? As any O viewer can attest, we've been downing our flax cereal and blueberries religiously for over a year now. We've had our cholesterol tested, added strength training to our workout regime and taken the "what's your real age" quiz. Even the presence of former guests who have successfully changed their lives months and years ago based on all of this information didn't seem to matter. Oprah acted as if this was the year to "live your best life" and as if this was the first we'd heard about it.

And so we've come to the unsolicited advice that I simply must unleash...

My dearest Oprah-
You fell off the wagon. It happens to all of us. But you are setting yourself up for another fall by making such a huge deal out of this thing. I get it. You are the most media saavy person in the world. You wanted control of the story before the paparazzi and tabloid trash took hold of it. But you have to give us devoted viewers a little credit. Yes, it's true, you speak and we follow. We buy books in mass and lay out cash we don't have for cashmere cardi-wraps. Despite our sometimes sheep-like behavior, we are a smart group. We know that we--and you--have been down this "get healthy" road before. So just admit it. Life got hectic and stressful and you slipped into old patterns. We love you. We forgive you so forgive yourself and stop all of this deja vu diatribe. Thanks to you (and your soul series with Eckhart Toile), we are living in the present. But that doesn't mean we've forgotten the past.

P.S. I'm not digging the new line-up on XM's Oprah and Friends but one thing at a time...