Nick, can I still you for a second?
In your case, father does know best. He tried to tell you but you missed his message. You told your dad that you have a type. You said you like strong, smart, intense women and he immediately fired back that "your type" hasn't worked out for you. Your very adorable, wise father was urging you to pick another flavor. And he is right. You live your life in your head, overthinking and overanalyzing. This is what you know. Ask any psychologist and they'll tell you, we all go for what we know. But what we know is not always what we need. I get that you like the way Vanessa questioned everything and searched for deep meaning. She challenged you. But take it from a too-long married mom, you don't want to be challenged every day. That's what kids are for. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. The point, Nick, is that you both can't be that needy.
I'm not saying you should have picked Raven, but, well, you should pick someone like Raven. She brings light to your darkness. I think you think she's too simple. You're a thinker so you believe that you need to be with someone who understands what it's like to be in your head. Wrong. Get over your overanalyzing and find a partner that brings the fun, reminds you to live in the moment and isn't covered in anxiety. With Raven, we saw a silly, playful Nick. I'm pretty sure I never need to see you dance on skates again, but I did love how carefree you looked doing it.
You are about to tick away a few more minutes of your reality fame on Dancing With The Stars. I just keep picturing Vanessa obsessing over the show, the rehearsal schedule, the publicity and those hot dancers. Let me guess, you have to FaceTime her from every rehearsal and make sure she and Peta stay in their own lanes. I'm exhausted thinking about it. And, then, there's Raven who you just know would slip right into the front row with a supportive, sexy smile shouting, "You got this, Baby."
It goes without saying that your journey to find love on TV is done. Bachelor Nation bids you well but definitely bids you GOODBYE. If you make it work with Vanessa, I'll be pleasantly surprised. But, when it doesn't, please heed these words of advice that you did not ask for. Nick, don't compliment things by going for the complicated ones. It's just like the girls who go for the dark, misunderstood boys. It's all hot and bothered at first but then, well, it's just complicated.
Someone else who spends way too much time in her own head.
P.S. To the brilliant producers of last night's show who clearly foresaw the rainy cloud hanging over Nick and Vanessa and quickly made us forget about this downer of a season with the effervescent and luminous new Bachelorette Rachel: Well done. As Rachel's journey began, we barely remembered we wasted hours of our lives on Nick's fourth go-round.