Wednesday, February 21, 2007


February 21, 2007

Dear John,

When you first came on the scene you told us that you wanted to run through the halls of your high school and scream at the top of your lungs. To us that meant that you were like all of us. High school was kind of awkward and lame and you were misunderstood there. The more we got to know you, we fell in love with you as the soulful, artsy guy who probably went unnoticed to the popular girls with untrained eyes. You were that guy who played guitar but didn't talk much. At least that's what we thought. But then came Jennifer Love Hewitt. Now I have nothing against her but for you, she just didn't seem right. Her body is definitely a "Wonderland" but she's so not the art girl. She's the rally girl, JM. And now, Jessica? I see what's going on. It's been years since high school and the popular girls, the Jessicas, can finally see that you are way hotter than any has been jock. You are enjoying the admiration and affection you should have had all those years back. Your buddies must be high-fiving like crazy over this match up. But John...we want you with a thinking man's girl. At least a girl who knows that Buffalo wings don't come from a Buffalo. Natalie Portman comes to mind. Scarlett Johansson would do. I hear Drew Barrymore's available. I know I don't really have the right to tell you who to date but since this is my blog, I'm doing it anyway. So here's one more piece of unsolicted advice, get out before Joe Simpson has you wearing a red cashmere sweater, singing Christmas Carols with Jessica for an ABC Holiday special. I know you think, "Not gonna happen." But the guy gets what he wants. So go ahead and you keep waiting for the world to change. But me, I'm waiting on you.


P.S. Continuum is amazing.

P.P.S. I would have dug you in high school!

No Longer IDOLizing Chris Daughtry

February 21, 2007

Dear Chris,
I cheered you on. I voted for you countless times. I sat in shock the night you prematurely exited Idol. And, yes, I even bought your album and liked it. But after reading Michael Endelman's article on you in the February 23rd issue of Entertainment Weekly, I have decided that you, Chris, need some serious unsolicited advice.
What's up, dog? You are living out millions of guys' fantasies. You were a suburban dad who is now a true rock star with critical and mass appeal. The girls are digging you. The guys think your cool. Your making cash doing what you love and the critics said your album was solid. So what's with the whining? You tell EW that you don't like being introduced as Chris from American Idol. Would you rather be Chris from the McLeansville Honda dealership? Let's not forget that without Idol, you were stuck in North Carolina despite your undisputed talent and rocker look. You say, "There's this misconception that you get famous and everything is perfect. "If anything, it's harder." Come on, man! I mean I get that you have been thrown into a whirlwind situation which comes with stress, pressure and I'm sure strain on marriage and family but your fans don't want to hear that your life is harder now that they've annointed you to rock star status. Remember all those nights where you stared into the camera motioning for us to "call in your number." You held up your fingers with hope burning in your eyes. We listened. We did it. We, your fans, wanted to make your dreams come true. Some of us even wanted to live vicariously through you so, please, stop the complaining. Talk to your wife when you want to vent. Tell her that "it's frustrating" dealing with being an American Idol. Confide in her that you are happy you didn't win because then you would be "considered pop." But publicly, suck it up, Chris. Smile. If you can't enjoy the ride, let us.
P.S. You don't need multiple silver rings. One is enough!